ATLANTA, GA — In a historic breakthrough destined to change the way humanity views time, waste, and late-night fast food decisions, researchers at the Centers for Biological and Temporal Studies confirmed Tuesday that sitting on the toilet at 11:59 PM and remaining seated as the clock strikes midnight officially constitutes the elusive cosmic event known as “same shit, different day”.

“We’ve long suspected this was theoretically possible, but now we have empirical proof,” said lead scientist Dr. Lena Walters, presenting data collected from a brave test subject, three burritos, and one very sturdy toilet. “The bowel movement begins in one calendar day and ends in another—yet it remains unmistakably the same shit.”

According to the study, the event creates a paradoxical rift in the gastrointestinal space-time continuum, where yesterday’s regrets collide with tomorrow’s poor life choices.

“It’s a once-in-a-day experience,” said Dr. Walters. “And depending on what you ate, sometimes a once-in-two-days experience.”

The research team has proposed naming the phenomenon the “Chrono-Crap Convergence” and submitted their findings to the Journal of Digestive Anomalies.

At press time, the study’s test subject confirmed the results, emerging from the bathroom with glazed eyes and a distant whisper: “Time is falsifiable. But crap is forever.”