PARIS, FRANCE — In a stunning twist of posthumous revenge that has paleo-activists cheering and high-cheekboned influencers spiraling, the fossilised remains of the long-bullied dinosaur known as “Eyesaur” were unveiled this week at Paris Fashion Week—and have immediately become the inspiration for a global haute couture movement.

Once cruelly mocked in the Jurassic for his lopsided eye sockets, scaly overbite, and what one classmate described as “a back hump with trust issues,” Eyesaur is now the face of the Neo-Prehistoric Aesthetic, a style hailed by Vogue as “post-ugly, pre-apocalyptic, and jaw-droppingly asymmetrical.”

“When I saw that fossil, I gasped,” said designer Ezechiel Mold, stroking a fossilized fern boa and blinking slowly. “It was the exact kind of natural grotesquerie I’d been looking for. The vertebral misalignment? The calcified sadness? Gorgeous.”

Models strutted the catwalk in bold interpretations of Eyesaur’s infamous features: eye patches at differing heights, deliberately uneven head crests, and scale-textured shawls that screamed, “I survived millennia of shame.”

The collection, titled “Extinction Chic,” sold out instantly, with a waitlist stretching from Milan to the Mariana Trench. Celebrities including Tilda Swinton, Björk, and an animatronic Jeff Goldblum have already been spotted in full Eyesaur-inspired ensembles, whispering cryptic things like “Fossilcore is the new normcore.”

“This is a full-circle moment,” said paleo-stylist and trauma historian Dakota Driprock. “Eyesaur was mocked, erased, and buried. Now? He’s on the cover of Bone Monthly and being worshipped by TikTok’s top paleogoths.”

At press time, Eyesaur’s fossil was being digitally scanned into the metaverse, where visitors can rotate it at all angles and even view visuals of its butthole.