CALIFORNIA — During a high-stakes virtual interview with a FAANG company Wednesday, 23-year-old jobseeker Felicia Smith Langerhans proudly declared her strong problem-solving abilities—before quickly pivoting to what she called her “true core strength”: creating problems no one asked for.

“Yes, I’m proficient in Python, cloud architecture, and making minor bugs spiral into full-blown production fires,” Lagerhans told the panel of engineers. “I don’t just solve problems—I generate them with precision, creativity, and a keen sense for the worst possible timing.”

Lagerhans cited past experiences where she introduced “innovative instability” into a logistics platform, crashed an internal dashboard with a single semicolon, and sparked a three-week email thread over font choices on a slide deck.

“I bring chaos with structure,” she explained. “Anyone can fix a bug, but I bring scalable dysfunction.”

Sources say the FAANG interviewer nodded slowly while scribbling “dangerously self-aware?” and “potential management material” in their notes. There was unanimous silent consent to recruit Lagerhans for the fast-track associate programme.

At press time, Lagerhans was reportedly preparing for her final interview, where she plans to demonstrate real-time problem creation by updating system configurations mid-call, just to “see who’s paying attention.”