PALM BEACH, FL — In a high-stakes appeal across multiple mirror reflections, real estate tycoon Donald Trump has reportedly convinced President Donald Trump to temporarily pause upcoming tariffs, warning that such measures could severely impact “America’s most cherished reality show host, Donald Trump.”

“The president has to think about the people—especially the charismatic genius who brought us The Apprentice,” said Mogul Trump during a televised interview he arranged with himself. “These tariffs could hurt his brand, his ratings, and more importantly, his ego.”

President Trump, deeply moved by the televised plea from a man he described as “very handsome and incredibly smart, maybe the best I’ve seen,” agreed to reconsider.

Complicating matters, renowned market manipulator Donald Trump had reportedly already profited $415 million from mere rumours of the tariffs, prompting further internal conflict. “You don’t mess with a guy who already made that kind of money,” whispered Advisor Trump into a gold-plated phone, while quietly sliding stock tips to Investor Trump.

“I had a tough talk with the president,” said Real Estate Trump, pacing in a marble hallway. “But I reminded him: if Trump falls, we all fall.”

At press time, President Trump confirmed a temporary tariff freeze “out of respect for Mr. Trump,” while hinting at future sanctions against countries that disrespect the legacy of Trump Tower’s elevator music.