BEIJING—In a stunning blow to both international trade and mildly encouraging dessert entertainment, fortune cookies exported from China now contain the same bleak message: “You will not go far in life,” sources confirmed on Wednesday.

The shift reportedly occurred shortly after the U.S. imposed a fresh wave of tariffs on Chinese imports, crippling the country’s lesser-known but emotionally crucial fortune cookie sector. Factories once known for pumping out vague optimism and thinly veiled threats from Confucius are now mass-producing paper strips soaked in existential despair.

“We were told to cut costs,” said Zhang Wei, a fortune writer at the Shandong Luck & Flour Co. “Ink is expensive. Hope is pricier.”

American diners have begun noticing the change. “I cracked mine open after a plate of General Tso’s, and it basically told me to give up,” said Philadelphia resident Linda Dallas. “Then my boyfriend got the same one. And so did the couple next to us. I don’t think this is a coincidence.”

Chinese officials denied any intentional sabotage, claiming the message reflects a “realistic yet humble mindset aligned with Taoist principles.”

Meanwhile, U.S. diplomats expressed concern. “We just wanted a trade advantage along with a windfall from stock market manipulation thereby bankrupting the middle and lower classes,” said one White House aide. “Now everyone thinks their destiny is a dead-end 9-to-9 job sewing Nike shoes together and a Netflix password they’ll never share.”

Industry experts warn if tensions continue, next month’s fortunes may simply read: “Should’ve made wiser decisions.”