WASHINGTON — A classified leak of American military plans shared on the encrypted messaging app Signal has rocked the intelligence community, with The Atlantic publishing an explosive exposé detailing how a group chat released classified information on an operation to strike Houthi rebel targes in Yemen.

The leak was discovered after a The Atlantic journalist was wrongly added to the Signal group.

Seizing on this hitherto unheard of blunder, the Signal founder has invited members of the public to join the platform for a lottery with prizes ranging from insider trading information to current war plans. Facebook is reportedly implementing this exact feature to reverse falling membership.

In response to this brouhaha, President Donald Trump quickly took to Truth Social, completely ignoring the actual issue and instead demanding the Atlantic Ocean be renamed the “Great American Ocean.”

“The Atlantic is fake news, and frankly, the ocean never did anything for us. Too wet. Too salty. Very wet water. We’re recalling it the Great American Ocean. Tremendous tremendous rebranding,” Trump posted, alongside a Photoshopped map where the Atlantic was replaced with an American flag and a bald eagle holding a cheeseburger.