SEOUL—After yet another gruelling 14-hour workday, local office drone Kim Bong Dong, 32, has confirmed that he is no longer looking for love, companionship, or even basic human affection—just a girlfriend with wealthy, disapproving parents willing to offer him at least $300,000 to break up with her.

“I don’t care if it’s 300,000 USD or 300,000 SGD, just not 300,000 KRW. I don’t even need romance. I need an exit strategy,” muttered Kim, scrolling through dating apps with a newfound sense of purpose. “Some guys dream of finding The One. I dream of dating a girl for six months before her parents slap a briefcase full of cash on the table and beg me to walk away.”

Kim, a mid-level executive with no work-life balance and barely enough savings to buy a tiny apartment in any district, said he initially wanted a relationship for emotional fulfilment. However, after years of watching rich people’s problems on TV, he realized there was a much more efficient way to achieve financial stability.

“The ideal scenario is this: I show up to family dinner wearing my most offensive threadbare thrift store outfit, subtly mention my lack of a five-year plan and how I am still staying with my parents, and wait for the father to lose his mind,” Kim explained, outlining his game plan. “Best case, they think I’m a corrupting influence. Worst case, I pretend to be one.”

Kim has since modified his dating app bio to reflect his priorities. “Looking for someone smart, funny, and preferably from a household that believes money can solve all problems,” reads his profile.

At press time, Kim was looking in the mirror and practicing head shakes for when he inevitably accepts the bribe.