NEW YORK—Citing widespread societal bias against the unfairly beautiful, the Pretty Privilege Society (PPS) released a statement Monday decrying the systemic oppression faced by the conventionally attractive and calling for greater awareness of the unique struggles endured by the excessively good-looking.

“While the world assumes our lives are effortless, the reality is far more complex,” the statement read. “The constant free coffees, undeserved promotions, and strangers breaking traffic laws to hold the door open for us come at a great emotional cost.”

The organization, which represents those who “suffer from being perceived as above-average in all lighting conditions,” claims that attractive people are frequently objectified, envied, and assumed to be lacking in intelligence—a form of discrimination that has been historically ignored.

“When I told my boss I wanted a raise, he just said, ‘Why? You probably don’t even pay for anything.’” said Madison Hartley, 26, a PPS board member whose cheekbones have personally ruined three marriages. “People think everything is handed to us, but do they ever consider the pressure of looking this good all the time?”

According to the PPS, members experience discrimination in several ways, including:

• Being dismissed in professional settings due to the assumption that “a face like that couldn’t possibly have a brain behind it.”
• Having to reject suitors on a near-daily basis, leading to a lifetime supply of petty resentment from the rejected.
• Suffering accusations of favoritism and special treatment, despite the inability to control how chiseled one’s jawline naturally is.

PPS members argue that society has long refused to acknowledge the invisible tax on hotness, pointing out that while ugly people get sympathy, attractive people get asked for selfies.

The statement also calls for better representation of attractive oppression in media, arguing that TV shows often portray pretty characters as villains or emotionally vacuous rather than “complex individuals who also experience sadness, heartbreak, and poor Wi-Fi connections.”

At press time, the PPS had announced plans to launch a global awareness campaign, though the effort was quickly derailed when the spokesperson was interrupted by a passing stranger who just had to tell them they should model.