CHICAGO—Citing a deeply rooted sense of strategic disengagement, local office worker Daniel Mercer confirmed Tuesday that instead of outright quitting his job, he would instead continue collecting a paycheck while mentally resigning in slow motion.

“I thought about quitting, but then I realized I could just… not,” said Mercer, 29, who masterfully decided to lower his effort to the precise threshold required to avoid termination. “Why go through the hassle of job hunting when I can just exist in this corporate limbo indefinitely?”

Sources confirm that Mercer has fully embraced the quiet quitting philosophy, perfecting a delicate balance between looking busy and doing the absolute bare minimum. “I answer emails, sure, but only after a strategically delayed three-hour response window,” he said. “If they want me to take initiative, they should specify that in my contract. Oh wait—they didn’t.”

Despite performing well below his actual capabilities, Mercer has reportedly received zero pushback from management, who remain blissfully unaware of his professional ghosting. “As long as my Teams status says ‘Active,’ they assume I’m working,” he explained, adding that his primary job now consists of toggling between work documents and Reddit threads.

At press time, Mercer’s coworkers praised his technique, admitting that they, too, had chosen to slowly detach from their workloads rather than experience the hassle of giving notice. “I’d love to just walk out, but then I’d have to write a resignation email, and that sounds exhausting,” said coworker Ashley Patel.

Sources confirm Mercer is now considering the next logical step in his career journey: getting quietly promoted.