AUSTIN, TX — In a bold new approach to improving his romantic charisma, local man Tyler Hawkins has reportedly started downing excessive amounts of fizzy drinks in an attempt to level up his “rizz” game.

“I saw this TikTok where a guy said confidence is like carbonation—you gotta let it bubble up inside you and burst out,” Hawkins explained, cracking open his seventh can of sparkling water before attempting to smolder at a passing woman. “If I can cultivate that same fizzy energy in my personality, the ladies will have no choice but to take notice.”

However, eyewitnesses confirm that Hawkins’ technique has yet to yield significant results, as his efforts to appear effortlessly charming have been largely overshadowed by excessive burping and an unfortunate incident in which he aspirated Dr. Pepper mid-flirt.

“He walked up to me, took a dramatic sip of his soda, and said, ‘Hey, girl, do you believe in love at first—’ and then immediately choked on the carbonation,” recalled one unimpressed bar patron, Jessica Nguyen. “It wasn’t exactly smooth. More like aggressively effervescent.”

Experts warn that while fizzy beverages may create the illusion of bubbling confidence, they do little to improve one’s social skills.

“Rizz, or the ability to attract romantic attention, is more about charm, humor, and natural confidence than artificially induced carbonation-induced bravado,” said Dr. Melissa Carter, a social psychologist at the University of Texas. “Drinking a liter of Sprite won’t make you charismatic—it’ll just make you bloated and prone to mid-sentence hiccups.”

Despite repeated setbacks, Hawkins remains undeterred in his pursuit of carbonated confidence.

“It’s a numbers game,” he said while dramatically swirling a bottle of club soda. “Eventually, someone’s gonna appreciate the fizzy energy I bring to the table.”

At press time, Hawkins was seen clutching his stomach and retreating to the restroom after an ill-advised attempt to impress a woman with his ability to shotgun a can of cola in under five seconds.