WASHINGTON — In a bold effort to reframe the conversation around preventable diseases, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services announced today that the highly contagious virus formerly known as measles will now be referred to as “Freedom Sores.”

“We believe this new terminology better aligns with the values of personal liberty and choice,” said HHS spokesperson Greg Carmichael. “By calling them Freedom Sores, we’re emphasizing that every American has the inalienable right to contract and spread this once-eradicated disease without oppressive government interference.”

Officials say the move comes in response to mounting public resistance to vaccines, particularly among citizens who believe their personal freedoms outweigh any collective health benefits. “There’s been a lot of unnecessary fear-mongering about measles,” said self-proclaimed medical researcher and Facebook user Linda Thompson. “But when you call them Freedom Sores, it really puts things in perspective. It reminds us that this is just our body expressing its God-given right to speckle itself in red, itchy patriotism.”

Public health experts, however, expressed concerns that renaming the disease might not be the most effective way to combat rising infection rates. “We spent decades eradicating measles through rigorous vaccination programs,” said Dr. Amanda Lee of the CDC. “Now, thanks to this rebranding, we’ve got parents out there throwing ‘Freedom Sores Parties’ so their kids can catch it the ‘natural way.’”

Despite backlash from the medical community, government officials remain firm in their decision. “Americans don’t like mandates, but they love rebranding,” Carmichael explained. “It’s the same reason why high-fructose corn syrup became ‘corn sugar’ and why we refer to a failing economy as ‘negative growth.’ The truth doesn’t change, but the perception does.”

At press time, sources confirmed that lawmakers were already considering renaming polio as “Liberty Limbs” and tuberculosis as “Patriot Cough” to maintain thematic consistency.