CLEVELAND, OH — Local woman Rebecca Callahan, 29, has come forward to express deep regret over a difficult decision she made, placing full responsibility on the government for allowing her to make it in the first place.

“I was given complete autonomy over my own life, and frankly, I wasn’t ready for that kind of responsibility,” said Callahan, reflecting on her experience. “Looking back, I just wish some faceless bureaucrats had stepped in to make the choice for me, ideally with no understanding of my situation whatsoever.”

Callahan, who made the choice after extensive soul-searching, personal circumstances, and professional medical consultation, now believes none of that should have mattered. “The government should have known better than to trust me with my own future,” she said. “I mean, they regulate how much soda I can buy in some places, but this? This they left up to me?”

Experts suggest that Callahan’s situation is part of a broader phenomenon in which individuals, overwhelmed by the weight of personal agency, later decide that a one-size-fits-all approach might have been preferable. “There’s a growing movement of people who believe that the government should have absolute authority over deeply personal matters,” said policy analyst Dr. Michael Langley. “It’s an interesting reversal, given that historically, the same people often express outrage at the government regulating their tax rates or access to plastic straws.”

At press time, Callahan was reportedly drafting a letter to Congress, urging lawmakers to take sweeping control over all major life decisions, including career paths, marriage partners, and whether she should order takeout again despite promising to cook at home this week.