DENVER, CO — In a stunning yet completely predictable development, local resident Mark Benson confirmed Tuesday that he is already tired for tomorrow despite it not even being tomorrow yet.

“I can just feel it coming,” said Benson, rubbing his eyes while staring blankly at his laptop screen. “I’m exhausted today, so I know for a fact that tomorrow is just gonna be worse. It’s like I’m living on borrowed fatigue.”

Sources close to Benson report that he has spent the past several hours contemplating how little sleep he will get, even though he has done absolutely nothing to rectify the situation. Instead, he has opted to scroll on his phone, watch three episodes of a show he doesn’t even like, and stare at the ceiling, fully aware that each passing second is eroding his chance of feeling remotely functional in the morning.

“Yeah, I’m looking at about five hours of sleep, max,” Benson said, shaking his head. “Which is really bad, considering I needed a solid eight to recover from last night’s sleep deprivation. I don’t even know what I’m recovering from anymore—every night is just making up for the previous disaster.”

Sleep experts have confirmed that Benson’s predicament is part of a growing trend known as “preemptive exhaustion syndrome,” where people are already fatigued about a day that hasn’t even happened yet.

“It’s a vicious cycle,” said Dr. Sandra Patel, a sleep researcher at the Denver Institute of Sleep Studies. “First, you’re tired, then you worry about being tired, which keeps you awake, making you even more tired. By the time you reach the next day, you’re just a husk of your former self, thinking about how much you’ll need to nap in a weekend that is still five days away.”

Despite knowing full well that staying up late is a direct contributor to his problem, Benson confirmed that he still plans to watch YouTube videos about home improvement projects he will never attempt for a home he doesn’t have before finally passing out at 3 a.m.

At press time, Benson was reportedly drafting a campaign for a work-from-bed policy.