WORLDWIDE — In what researchers are calling a “triumph of modern science and historical irony,” a team of geneticists has announced plans to resurrect the long-extinct dodo, while fully acknowledging that humans will almost certainly drive them to extinction again within a decade.

“We are thrilled to give the dodo a second chance,” said Dr. Elaine Whitmore, head of the Lazarus Genetics Project. “Of course, given humanity’s track record with conservation, we expect these newly revived birds to last about as long as a limited-edition sneaker drop.”

The dodo, which was famously wiped out in the 1600s due to overhunting and habitat destruction, will reportedly be reintroduced into the wild with no real safeguards in place beyond “a vague hope that people will behave better this time.”

Experts warn that history is doomed to repeat itself, citing early reports of chefs brainstorming artisanal dodo recipes, influencers planning ‘Dodo Selfie Safaris,’ and billionaires already inquiring about exclusive dodo-hunting expeditions. “Frankly, we’ll be surprised if they make it past the first wave of viral TikTok challenges,” added Whitmore.

At press time, scientists were reportedly considering cloning the woolly mammoth next, so that it too could suffer the crushing disappointment of being reintroduced into the modern world only to meet its doom again at the hands of humanity.