Washington, D.C. — In a move that is sending shockwaves through both domestic and international circles, the President of the United States has unveiled a series of ambitious name changes aimed at “reclaiming American identity” and better reflecting the nation’s “evolving values.”

The president’s office confirmed this morning that, effective immediately, the Gulf of Mexico will officially be renamed the Gulf of America, Canada’s head of state will now be referred to as the Governor of Canada, and the United States itself will undergo a dramatic rebranding, officially becoming the Disunited States of America.

“This is about asserting dominance, rewriting history, and making sure the world knows that America is still number one,” the President said in a press conference, flanked by a bewildered group of advisors who appeared uncertain as to whether they had just witnessed a historic moment or a full-scale meltdown. “The Gulf of Mexico is just too tied up with colonialism, hurricanes, and tacos. The Gulf of America? Now that is something the world can understand.”

The president’s next bold move—changing the title of Canada’s leader from “Prime Minister” to “Governor”—has sparked outrage north of the border.

“Look, we’ve been gracious enough to let the U.S. have all its freedoms, but now they want to annex us? Unbelievable,” said Canadian political analyst Derek Mallory.

The boldest and most controversial of the president’s changes, however, was the renaming of the nation itself. In a move that stunned many even within his own administration, the President has declared that the United States of America will henceforth be known as the Disunited States of America.

While some Americans have praised the name change as a refreshingly honest assessment of the nation’s current political state, others are less than enthusiastic.

“Is this really the message we want to send to the world?” said Tim Walsh, a 47-year-old high school history teacher from Nebraska. “How about we focus on fixing the roads?”

For now, the world awaits with bated breath to see what else the president will rename next.