CHICAGO, IL — In what local researchers are calling a classic case of the theory of parental investment, 29-year-old Eric Palmer has reportedly become the unexpected recipient of widespread female attention ever since entering a relationship with a woman who viewed him as a long-term improvement project.

“Before, I was just some guy eating Hot Pockets for dinner and wearing mismatched socks,” said Palmer, who for years was passed over by potential romantic partners without a second glance. “But now, suddenly, women are laughing harder at my jokes, maintaining eye contact for longer, and—this part is really weird—asking if I have any single friends.”

Evolutionary biologists suggest this phenomenon aligns with the theory of parental investment, which states that the choosier sex—typically female—evaluates a mate’s worth based on their ability to contribute to offspring success. In this case, Palmer’s “project girlfriend” had unknowingly performed a social vetting function, signaling to other women that he was not, in fact, the human equivalent of an abandoned shopping cart with shrivelled receipts.

“It’s textbook,” said Dr. Lillian Marks, a researcher specializing in human mating behavior. “By selecting Palmer, his girlfriend effectively increased his perceived mate value. The theory of parental involvement means that women are biologically choosier and wired to respond to social signals that indicate a man’s viability, even if those signals are just ‘he has a girlfriend now, so there must be something good there.’”

Despite his newfound popularity, Palmer insists he remains committed to his girlfriend, stating, “I love her, plus she’s the reason I finally bought real furniture and stopped drinking milk straight from the carton.” However, he admits to being mildly unnerved by the influx of flirtatious interactions from women who once ignored him.

At press time, Palmer’s girlfriend was reportedly unfazed by the situation, explaining, “This always happens when a woman invests in a fixer-upper. It’s like when I decorated my apartment—suddenly, everyone wants to visit.”