WASHINGTON — In a groundbreaking public initiative, government officials and wellness experts are urging Americans to combat the crushing weight of skyrocketing living costs by simply “being more present” as their financial stability crumbles before their eyes.

“Sure, rent is up 40%, groceries cost a fortune, and your utility bill now rivals your student loans, but have you tried deep breathing?” said Health and Human Services spokesperson Linda Grayson. “Mindfulness won’t pay your bills, but it will help you accept that you can’t pay them, which is basically the same thing.”

Financial experts insist that practicing mindfulness is the key to surviving an economy where wages remain stagnant while the price of basic necessities continues to balloon. “If you’re worried about affording housing, just ground yourself in the present moment. Right now, you still have a home—focus on that,” said economist Dr. Michael Cortez, before quietly admitting his own rent was overdue.

Mindfulness apps have reported record downloads as Americans turn to guided meditations with titles like ‘Breathe Through That Eviction Notice’ and ‘Visualize Having Healthcare’. Meanwhile, corporations are encouraging mindfulness in the workplace, with many offering free five-minute meditation breaks between 12-hour shifts that still will not cover the cost of living.

At press time, officials suggested that citizens survive on baked beans, toast and gratitude journaling.